In between the constant small gifts given to him on a daily basis and the sweet words of affection his teammate and boyfriend muttered when nobody was around, there was one thing that Teshima Junta wanted more than anything else. He dared not tell anybody. Especially not his lover, beloved senpai, nor any of the other third-years. This was strictly for his knowledge only.

He wished that Aoyagi would kiss him. Not the kind of kisses that they gave each other before leaving for their own homes after a cycling date. Not even the casual kiss that he gave often gave Aoyagi when they were watching movies together and the plot was epically boring. He wanted Aoyagi to kiss him hard, to show him stars and pleasure and every other stupid shoujo cliché that people often experienced with a really good kiss. He hated to admit it, but it tormented him on a daily basis.
As a result, in true Teshima fashion, he came up with convoluted plots in order to make this happen. Teshima knew that writing down his thoughts about Aoyagi would be risky business, but he couldn't organize them any other way. He was too cautious to post them anywhere online. He used a discrete composition book he had gotten from overseas and labeled it simply “#1”. He wrote on the second page:

Entry #1

The person I'd like to to talk about in this book will be referred to as “my number one” or just “one” in short. I love him so dearly. Some days I want to do stupid things and kiss him in front of the whole school. One is so much better than that! His words do so many things to me. My heart flutters every time he calls me Jun.

 

P.S. He looked really cute today, wearing the necklace I bought him for Christmas! (*°∀°)=3

 

P.S.S Still working on that miraculous plan to kiss him. Maybe he'd be enticed with chocolate? I bought some Hershey kisses the other day.

Teshima stopped writing. He blushed furiously. Even though he knew that this rambling on the page would be the best way to focus and get these incessant thoughts out of his head, he was still uncertain how much he should disclose to this journal. What if someone found it?
Despite his worries, he still wrote nearly every day.

---

He had written thirty-five entries into the journal, and had been in the middle of the thirty-sixth one when he realized that he had taken up the whole book. Teshima groaned.
“Ugh what a pain! Why are there so few pages in this book!” He shoved it into his school bag while looking for the extra notebook he kept there. “Aha! Here it is!” he exclaimed. He numbered this book #2 and began to write from where he left off.
The next day, he set down his stuff and sat in the usual chair. Aoyagi approached looking worried.
“Aoyagi? What's the matter?” Teshima asked. Aoyagi's eyebrows furrowed a little bit.
“I'm sorry to ask you this,” he dropped his voice to a whisper “but I forgot to do last night's math worksheet. Do you think I could borrow yours, Jun?” Teshima's face colored a little at the nickname.
“O-oh of course! Here I'll get it right now.” He sorted through his bag to find his math notes when Naruko came running through the door.
“Perm-senpai! There's a big problem with one of the bikes, and Ossan is asking you to help him fix it!” He shouted from the entrance way.
“What, Tadokoro-senpai? Tell him I'm coming right away!” He started to run before turning back to his boyfriend. “Aoyagi, you can find the worksheet with my math notes. I'll be right back, so tell sensei that something came up with the club!” With that, he left.
Aoyagi smiled at Teshima's retreating back. He would always be the one to help others, even if he hated to admit it. He turned his attentions back toward Teshima's bag. Now where was that worksheet? He passed the English, literature, and science books before finding a curiously rounded black and white book. What was this? Aoyagi opened up to a random page to see Teshima's scrawled writing.

Entry #25
God I am so stupid! Today was Hajime's birthday and I didn't have anything prepared! ヽ (*´Д ｀ *) ﾉ We ended up going out to dinner together anyways, but it was totally lame on my part. After failing to give him chocolate on Valentine's Day, I can hardly be considered a good boyfriend OTL.. The people in the restaurant were staring at us, but he didn't notice (which I am glad of). He lights up so much when he smiles. It's a wonder he chose me.

P.S. Mission: Get Hajime To Kiss Me still on standby until further notice.

Aoyagi reddened as he looked around to see if Teshima had made it back. Sighing in relief, he transferred the book to his own bag before looking for the math worksheet. He was curious about what sort of things Teshima wrote, but now was not the time to indulge in such pursuits. He had homework to copy!

Aoyagi rushed home after practice. Teshima hadn't said anything about the composition book, but Aoyagi wanted a chance to read it before he noticed its disappearance. He took off his shoes in a hurry and rushed up the stairs to his bedroom.
The room was furnished with a simple study desk, a maple-wood bed, and scattered road racing posters on the walls. He dropped the book bag on the desk and sat down on the chair with a crash, his heart thumping furiously. It would definitely be inappropriate to read through Teshima's private thoughts, but he so badly wanted to know. Curiosity overcoming him, Aoyagi grabbed the composition book from his bag and started to read.
It took an hour and a half to decode Teshima's scrawl, but every minute was worth it. When Aoyagi reached the end of the book, a grin was plastered on his face, and his heart was floating on pink clouds. He was half glad that Teshima had bothered to write down what he was feeling on a day to day basis, and half jealous that Jun had trusted a book with his worries rather than him.
Why didn't he just ask me? Aoyagi wondered, but then his face reddened. Maybe he knew exactly why. How would he have done if he were in the same position? There would be no way for him to bring up the topic about wanting to be kissed “so passionately that my head spins and I feel like fainting” (courtesy of Entry #31).
Aoyagi had work to do. He opened up his laptop to research. Time to implement a counterattack to “Mission: Get Hajime to Kiss Me”. He would title his plan, “Mission: Kiss Jun the Way He Wants To Be Kissed”. As serious as Aoyagi's façade was, he was chuckling a little as he looked up kissing on the internet. Some these ideas were a little stupid, but he was willing to try some of them if it would make Teshima happy.

It was three days until Teshima noticed that his precious notebook was gone. Teshima had been writing in his new book (#2) when he realized that he wanted to hide the first one. He got up from the seated position on his bed and reached into his backpack, feeling for the smooth rounded edges of the composition book. Where was it? He couldn't feel the smaller book, so he grabbed his bag and dumped the contents onto his bed. Try as he might, it was nowhere to be seen.
“Holy shit!” This was bad. Who could have taken it? What if they actually read what was inside? What if they knew who wrote it, and who it was about? He groaned in despair. This could not be happening!!
The next day, he walked into the clubroom in low spirits. He knew that he had it the day he had come in to help Tadokoro-senpai fix one of the old training bicycles. He must have dropped it somewhere here. Worst of all, somebody had to have picked it up, or else he would have found it. He ran through the list of everyone he knew. Who had acted awkwardly around him after that day? Teshima tried to reason it out, but unfortunately he couldn't have known that the person who had picked up the book was none other than Aoyagi. As good as Teshima was at reading him, Aoyagi was one step better at concealing his thoughts.
Which was a very excellent skill to have considering that what he was planning would be considered perverted in some circles. Aoyagi walked into the clubroom five minutes after Teshima, contemplating his plot.
'Jun knows that someone took his book. I hope he doesn't get too mad when he finds out it was me.'
“Hey Jun, what's up? You don't look so well.” Aoyagi felt slightly guilty, but he was more excited about what he was about to do. He glanced left and right, making sure that nobody else had gotten there before them.
Teshima turned around and smiled. “Nah, I'm fine Hajime. It's nothing important.” There was no way he could let Aoyagi know that he had lost his stupid composition book. He hoped that someone had mistaken it for burnable trash and incinerated it.
“I don't believe you.” Aoyagi focused his gaze at Teshima's lips, and walked forward ever so slightly.
' What the heck is with this atmosphere?' Teshima thought. He backed up a step and felt the back of his legs hit the bench. Out of surprise, he lost balance, waving his arms desperately. Aoyagi rushed forward to support him, and grabbed his waist with one arm. This left them in an unstable position, with Aoyagi over Teshima, the both of them leaning over the bench.
“Hajime! What are you-”
“Let me kiss you.” Aoyagi said.
“What!?” Teshima flushed. What was even happening!?
Aoyagi reached up with his other hand and held Teshima's face lightly. “I want to kiss you”. He moved in, letting his lips linger over Teshima's. After a second's hesitation, Teshima opened up, and rested his arms around Aoyagi's neck. They both straightened out, no longer leaning at an awkward angle. Aoyagi kissed Teshima gently, pulling him close. He deepened the kiss with his tongue, eager to taste his boyfriend.
Teshima's heart was beating at an inhuman pace and he embraced Aoyagi even closer. His breath quickened, and so did Aoyagi's pace. His lips became sensitive, and every time Aoyagi brushed past them brought a spark of pleasure up his spine, and a warmth to pool in his stomach. He moaned and pulled away, breathing heavily. Holding Aoyagi at an arm's length, he blushed and looked away.
“Hajime... we can't do this here!” He whispered. Aoyagi smiled.
“That's okay, we'll do it again later” Aoyagi reached in for another quick kiss, and walked away to get ready for club.
Outside, Makishima and Tadokoro were giving each other hesitant looks. It's not as if the club room was soundproof, so they had heard Teshima's moan. They walked inside cautiously to find a blushing Teshima and a smug looking Aoyagi. Tadokoro started to laugh and Makishima couldn't help but smirk. It was about time, and he had always had his suspicions about the two 'close' friends. Disregarding the two senpais that were present, Aoyagi finished changing into his racing gear and walked out calmly.
Teshima rushed to put on his jersey and walked out stiffly, avoiding the weird looks of Makishima and Tadokoro senpai. He caught up to Aoyagi who was taking his bike off the bike rack.
“Hajime! W..what was that about?” His heart fluttered. Aoyagi gave him another beaming smile, before looking down shyly.
“I'm sorry Jun. I saw the notebook that you wrote...”, Teshima's breath stopped briefly, “..and I read through it. All of it.”
It was Teshima's worst nightmare come true. He covered his face in hands and he could feel his face heating up even more. His heart was beating erratically and he turned around, refusing to see Aoyagi's face.
Aoyagi was stunned by this action, and pulled on Teshima's hand, pulling his hands away from his face.
“Jun. Jun, I'm so sorry, please forgive me! I was so flattered, I really wanted to do something for you too.”
Teshima looked into Aoyagi's eyes and nodded, still red and still embarrassed.
“Hajime...” Teshima started, “I hope you burn that notebook!”
Aoyagi chuckled. “No way Jun-chan. I'm thinking of getting it framed!”